Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Some of the best learning situations about culture stem from the misunderstandings that arise when people from different cultures collide. I was witness to a minor one here in Canada involving a relative who was visiting from Lebanon.

My cousin, Ed, approached a variety store owner to buy a bag of loose-leaf tobacco to roll his cigarettes. For those who don’t know: Canada is a country obsessed with enacting regulations. Perhaps rightly, it has some of the toughest anti-smoking laws in the world. In one of the stranger of those dictates, the province of Ontario prohibits the visual display of tobacco products in grocery, convenience and drug stores. Cigarettes are placed on shelves hidden behind bland looking barriers.

Coming from a country with far less regulation, and almost no effective government apparatus, Ed was unprepared for what unfolded..

Ed: Hi, do you sell rolling tobacco?

Store Owner: We do.

Ed: Can I see what kinds you have?

Store Owner: I’m sorry, sir, but it’s not possible.

Ed: What do you mean ‘it’s not possible’?

Store Owner: It’s against the law.

Ed: To sell tobacco?

Store Owner: No. It’s against the law to show you.

Ed: But, I don’t know what brands you have.

Store Owner: I’m sorry sir, but this is the law. There’s a notice on the door saying it’s illegal to display tobacco items.

Ed: But how am I supposed to choose? If I can’t see what you have?

Store Owner: I’m sorry, but I like I said, this is the law. You just tell me what you want.

Ed: Fine, then. I’ll have a pack of Drum.

Store Owner: Here you go.

Ed: Can I see your rolling papers?

Store Owner: I’m sorry, but you can’t see those either.

Ed: You must be joking!

Store Owner: No sir. The law says that item is related to tobacco use. So I have to keep it hidden as well.

Ed: That’s crazy. Alright, I’ll take Rizla papers if you have those.

Store Owner: We do.

Ed: Can I choose a lighter? Or are those also related to tobacco use?

Store Owner: They’re not. But…

Ed: But what?

Store Owner: You can only buy a yellow or a blue lighter.

Ed: Is that also because of the law?

Store Owner: No, it’s because that’s all I have left!

The encounter left Ed baffled. Coming from both a smoking and mercantile culture (with its socializing, haggling and displaying of wares in the bazaar), he found the laws and the behaviour of the store clerk nonsensical.

I later did some research into the law. Things may have gone smoother if the clerk was better informed about the regulations. The law enables some wiggle room for informing tobacco-buying customers of their options (with caveats of course).

An Ontario Ministry of Health website states:

“Retailers will continue to be permitted up to three signs that indicate the availability of tobacco in their stores. These signs must comply with section 7 of the Regulation (O.Reg. 48/06) and must use black text against a white background.

“To help in product selection, retailers may offer customers a binder or other reference tool containing an inventory of tobacco products available for purchase. This tool must comply with all other requirements of the Smoke-Free Ontario Act relating to the promotion of tobacco products. The proper use of this tool is for reference and not for distribution or display.

“The binder may not be left open on the counter. It must be stored away from view, e.g. beneath the counter, and may be used by a clerk and a customer of legal age to buy tobacco, to identify products for purchase. The binder should only be taken out during a sale and then returned immediately to its storage location.”

Inuit Song Duel

In times gone by, some Inuit groups living in Canada’s Arctic would settle their internal disputes through song contests. It was their version of our modern day court system.

In Uqalurait: An Oral History of Nunavut, John Bennet and Susan Rowley write:

“If a conflict arose between two men, they could try to settle it with a song duel. They used two weapons: wit and satire. Each composed a song about his opponent, that would be performed at a community feast. The composer of the cleverest song, the one the audience enjoyed the most, won the duel.”

Alien Abduction Beliefs Explained

Alien abductions

I’ve never been much interested in UFOs. Or in space aliens.

Recently, though, a psychotherapist friend in the U.K. recommended a book to me on a closely related topic. It’s entitled Abducted: How People Come to Believe They Were Kidnapped By Aliens, by Susan A. Clancy. And it’s a fascinating read.

Clancy claims that many alien abduction beliefs are caused by a little-known phenomenon called “sleep paralysis”. It occurs when one’s sleep cycles become desynchronized and a person wakes up before the paralysis that accompanies dreaming has worn off. Usually, dream content bleeds into that limbo state. The result is a mysterious, and often terrifying experience that can last up to a minute.

Clancy says that some people, baffled by that experience, will visit a hypnotherapist to find answers. While in the suggestive state of trance, the patient’s mind begins a wide search for scenarios to explain those scary and confusing memories. Sometimes therapists, believing in aliens, will suggest to their patients that they’ve had an alien abduction experience. In other cases, where no such suggestions are made, the patient’s mind pattern-matches to the closest thing possible: our culturally prevalent UFO and alien abduction imagery. The affected person slowly starts to conclude that they’d been kidnapped by Star People.

Clancy does a good job in demonstrating the unreliability and malleability of our memories, and how easily they can be altered – especially, inadvertently, when under hypnosis. She uses the example the well-documented problem among some therapists of inculcating false memories of sexual abuse in their patients.

The author says that fantasy-proneness and scientific illiteracy are often part of the abduction belief recipe. But she sites, in every single case, one factor above all: a deep and profound need to find meaning in one’s life:

“After two years of intense alienography, this is what I conclude. Aliens are entirely and extremely human, the imaginative creations of people with ordinary emotional needs and desires. We don’t want to be alone. We feel helpless and vulnerable much of the time. We want to believe there’s something bigger and better than us out there. And we want to believe that whatever it is cares about us, or at least is paying attention to us. That they want us (sexually or otherwise). That we’re special. Being abducted by aliens is a culturally shaped manifestation of a universal human need.”

Abducted: How People Come to Believe They Were Kidnapped By Aliens, by Susan A. Clancy.